CherryDesire

Marriage wasn’t what I really wanted at this point. I mean yeah I said yes to him because one day I DO want to marry him, but just not yet…..I’m not ready for that yet. Also it sucks knowing that we have to hide our relationship from the public, you know, now that Bruno’s made it, he can’t be seen with someone as normal and pathetic as me.

“Vegas!? We’re going to Vegas!? I’ve never been to Vegas before…..Oh God, Bruno please tell me we’re not going on the tour bus there, and I fucking hate that tour bus!” I say frustrated. That bus is awful, I wouldn’t mind if it was nice. “Nope! We’re flying out tomorrow, first class baby” he says as he sits next to me on the couch whilst I casually flick through the music channels. And what comes up? “I wanna be a billion-“He takes the control outta my hand and changes the channel. “Maaaan, they play my shit a lot!!” he says as he flicks through. “Well you know, you are amazing” He turns and looks at me and sings “Just the way you areeeee” and bursts out laughing. “How cheesy!!!! Yuck, my boyfriend is a crooner….” “FIANCE. Your fiancé is a crooner” he says with a wink. Sometimes I forget that we’re engaged. I look down at my beautiful ring he gave me and just start to smile.

Just as I’m thinking about having a nice relaxing evening at home with Bruno before we have to leave. The door bell rings. Urgh, we never get to spend much time together anymore, if he’s not touring then I’m working and vice versa. I know I see him every day, but I kinda of in a way miss him. I just miss being with him, alone. It’s rare that we get to be with each other now. I get up to open the door and the whole band walks in, it’s like they live here, and they’re ALWAYS here!! Not that I really care that much, I do love these guys too. “Gimmie that remote, I wanna watch the game” Eric says as he snatches the remote out of Bruno’s hand and lounges on the couch. “Lex, you got anything to eat?” Jamareo says from the kitchen. “No…..Order a Pizza?” “I’m on it!” Phred says as he grabs his phone and starts to dial. “Where’s Kenji?” I ask looking around for him. “He’s at home with Silk, spending some time with her before we leave” Awwwwhh, he’s such an amazing father, and Silk is so adorable. Well at least they can spend some time together. I wish I could just have at least one hour of alone time with Bruno. “Where’s Phi-“The doorbell rings, “Ahhhh, which must be Phil” I get up and open the door and Phil and Urbana walk in. There’s only one person missing and sure enough, I see her pull up and run in. “Go home Mid! No one wants’ you here!” I say with a wink, she just flips me off and walks in, God I do love her. The pizza arrives and we all sit outside by the pool eating. The guys have a couple of beers and start to get loose. This should be interesting. “Bruno, did you ever think you’d make it THIS fast? I mean everything’s just taken off so fast” Phred asks. “Nope, I really didn’t. It’s, just wow. I was so scared when Nothin on you came out, then of course when billionaire came out. But I was always confident that JTWYA was gonna be a hit” He looks at me and smiles. I just smile back at him. “WHENS THE FUCKING WEDDING!?” Mid says. She’s drunk. Fuck. “Well I’m ready. But SHE won’t marry me” “I said yes didn’t I?” He just looks at me like I’m an idiot. “We can’t get married now anyway, Bruno’s got his world tour coming up and you know…..the timings not right…..” They all just laugh at me and move on. God I hate it whenever the topic of marriage comes up. “Vegaaaaassssss!! Ahhhhh gonna be so much fun!!” Phil says. “Guys guys guys, look. We’re going there to work ok?” He says in a serious voice. “Fuck that shit!!” I say! “Hahahahaha yeah baby you’re right, Party time in Vegas! What hotel are we in?” “We’re in the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel & Casino” Phred says as he reads it off his phone. “Oooohh a lot of shit goes down there…..” Urbana says concerned. She’s not coming; I don’t actually know why none of the bands girlfriends/wives don’t come on tour. I don’t think I could stand being away from Bruno for that long. I leave everyone and decide to go upstairs and pack. I love all the guys, I seriously do, but they’re just ALWAYS here and sometimes I just need to be with Bruno. I start to pack but stop halfway and light up a cigarette and walk out on to the balcony. Not long after I step out on to it, Bruno joins me. He puts his arms around me and whispers in my ear “Baby, what’s wrong”

I just inhale his scent. I don’t say anything; I just stand there looking out in to the night. Still breathing deeply. Then he moves even closer to me and I can feel “Him” and feel his breath on my neck. Everything’s so silent that I can hear his heartbeat. It’s faster than usual. I know what he wants. Without even noticing I start to smile until I realize and stop. He places his arms around me and starts to kiss my neck. Fuck, he knows how much I love this. I close my eyes and let him continue. I turn around and take his shirt off, nearly ripping it in the process and he does the same with mine. I need him. NOW. He pulls me over to the bed and gets on top and kisses me. Tongue included. He then grazes his hands down my shoulders, down my forearms and grabs my wrists. Wait. What!? He stops kissing me and sits up on my hips staring down at me still holding my wrists down so I can’t move. “Is this some creepy sexual fantasy you have or something?” he just laughs and says “Oh I’m not the one with the creepy sexual fantasies Lex, miss, I wanna watch out unintentional sex tape we made” Urgh! “Will you ever let that go!?” “Nope, now talk, what’s wrong?” “Will you let me get up then?” He thinks for a second. “No, I’m good in this position” “Brunooooo, let’s just have sex, THEN we’ll talk” “Nope, I like with holding sex from you, now I know why you do it ALL THE FUCKING TIME!” “Yeah well I wanna have sex now” I start to grind my hips against him in the little space I have, his eyes shoot open and he raises himself higher so I can’t touch him there. Damn. I suppose I have to talk now.

He looks into my eyes and says “Baby, what’s wrong? You don’t talk to me anymore” “Well, we don’t have time to speak anymore, you’re just so busy all the time, and we never have the house to ourselves. Actually, where’s everyone else?” “I sent them all home, they didn’t wanna go though, I’m sorry that they’re always here Lex” “No Bruno don’t be! I love the guys! You know that, it’s just difficult not having you to myself all the time, I mean, I’ve never had to share a guy before…..” I say the end part trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work, he still looks upset. Fuck. “You’ll be all mine in Vegas. I promise. I’ll tell the guys to go fuck themselves and leave us two alone” “Oh yeah, they’ll really appreciate that! But we can’t be together in Vegas either” He gives me a look as if I just said the dumbest thing in the world. “Why?” I exhale “Because you’re not supposed to be seen with a girl, let alone your fiancé” When I say the word fiancé he automatically smiles and flashes all of his perfect white teeth. “Lex, that’s just dumb, I’m hardly not gonna go out with you because of what my manager said” “But it wasn’t just your manager though was it? The whole entire label said it, hmmmphh…. I suppose I’ll just have to *fangirl* over you like everyone else does…” He bends down and kisses me. FINALLY! “Well, you’ll have a few more benefits than my fans do” He kisses me again. “Hmmmmm and what’s that?” “Well you get to have sex with me. My fans don’t” He kisses me again but I just burst out laughing. “What!? You want me to have sex with them? Because I’ve got some hot fans….” He jokes. Still laughing I try to speak “No no no no no! It’s just that I’ve seen the way you move on stage. Baby you’re practically having sex with them anyway!” “I am not!!” He looks offended. I don’t fall for his bullshit anymore. I just stare at him. “Ok, maybe I do…..but they don’t get to have sex with me like this……” Oh shiiitt.

I force myself to get up at 10am and pack, the flights at 3pm and we’re not even a little bit packed. I quietly get up and have my shower and start to pack. Bruno’s still fast asleep. What a fucking surprise. I do love to just watch him sleep though, he looks so peaceful. Bless him; he’s been working so hard on everything these past few months. He basically lived in the studio. I suppose I should be happy that he just used our studio at home, although I think he used it more because of the fact that he could go in to it in his pyjamas…… He has been edgy recently though, he’s just not been himself, I mean yeah his EP is a success, it’s just so damn amazing, but he can’t see that. He still doubts it, he says he can do better, and yes, I know he can do better, but you can’t just ignore the sheer talent he has for making it. I think when his album finally drops then he’ll be able to relax more. He deserves it. I pack my suitcase and pack Bruno’s, throw my short silk robe on and go downstairs to make breakfast. Shit. I left my phone upstairs so I go back up to get it but I see Bruno coming down the stairs holding it in his hand. Ooohh he’s only wearing his boxers, I fucking love it when he walks around like that. I find it hard to control myself. “Good morning beautiful” he says as he coming in for a kiss. “Oooohhh eggs and bacon, yummmm” and we sit down to eat. “Did my phone wake you up?” “Yeah you got a message” I look at my phone and see no notifications. “Oh yeah, I read it” Just as I open my mouth to complain about what he did *Knock Knock* the door? The fuck, its only 1pm. Should I open it? I’m in my robe…I look at Bruno and he has a confused face on too, but he gets up to open it anyway in just his boxers. Although I think I have an idea as to who it might be. As soon as he opens the door all of the guys rush in. Shit, I stand behind the counter to hopefully try and cover my legs. My robe is way too short. “VEGAS TONIGHT BABY!!” Eric shouts. Yeah, Vegas tonight…..

VEGAS BABY!! Ok, now that we’re on the plane I’m pretty fucking hyped. I mean come on, it’s Vegas! And I’ve been pretty damn moody lately; I don’t know what’s up with me. Being in Vegas and being with Bruno will definitely cheer me up. I look over at Bruno and see he’s fast asleep with his snuggie on, bless his sexy ass. I wanted to get a private plane, but the label didn’t let us, so we’re in business class, I suppose it’s not that bad, but the label does tell him what he can and can’t do all the time. It sucks. I hate planes. I mean, I really, really hate planes. I get up and go over to Bruno and lay down with him trying not to wake him. It’s weird, even though he’s kinda muscular, he still feels all squidgy, I do love him. So much. I accidently wake him up a little and he moves over and makes room for me on the seat, kisses my cheek and falls back asleep. Everyone is looking at us. Jealous people. He’s been working so damn hard lately, well, they all have. They’re all talented people. I look round and everyone else is so tired, they all work so hard. I look over at Phred and just smile. I love Phred, I love how he’s here too with everyone, he deserves it.

We finally land. FUCK YES! We get off the plane and get to the hotel. “Excuse me!? Can you repeat that again??” I say to the receptionist, who by the way is eyeing Bruno up. I don’t like this bitch. “I’m sorry ma’am. But you only have two rooms booked out” “But there’s 6 of us?” Ryan interrupts. “Can’t we buy an extra room?” Phred says. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you all. You’re just going to have to share” Fuck. I pull Bruno to the side and say “Baby, flirt with her.” “WHAT!?” I lean in close, so close that he can feel my breath against his face, so close that our lips are just about touching, so close that he has nowhere else to look except my eyes. “You heard me. Now, go do whatever and make her find us a separate room” He clears his throat, smiles and says “You are strange Lex….” and walks up to the receptionist who instantly perks up and smiles at him. Bitch. Phred comes up behind me and starts to rub my shoulders. “Excuse me, are you sure that there is no other room we can have? Would you mind checking your database again?” “Well sir, let me look again, I’m sure we can find something to keep you happy” and she checks her computer. “Nope, nothing” She’s lying. I can tell. Bruno knows it too. He looks at me for a split second, and then moves in closer to her, not THAT close, but closer. He says as he looks in to her eyes “Are you sure?” and flashes his perfect smile, even I melt, and I’m all the way back here. She leans in closer and as she does, so do me and Phred. She whispers “The only room available tonight is my room” OH HELL NO! Phred holds me back until I hear Bruno say “You can shove your room. Come on Lex…” “Our room keys please?” Ryan says smugly. She gives him the keys and we go up to our rooms. Bruno and me get the biggest room so we all go in there to decide. “Well it looks like theirs only two beds in each room, but they’re doubles” Kenji says as he explores the rooms. “Ok so, Bruno, Lex, Phred and me in one room” Ryan says “and Jam, Kenji, Dre and Eric in the other, cool?” They all agree and go off in to their room, which is connected by a connecting door, so they don’t go far. I like them being close; it wouldn’t feel right if they went far.

“I’m starving!!” I say after we’ve unpacked, well, after I unpack for Bruno, he sucks at packing and unpacking, sometimes I let my OCD get to the better of me. We all shower and get ready to go out to eat. I hate this whole sharing rooms thingy. All the guys just get changed in the room and I have to be confined in the bathroom. Having said that, Bruno just walks in and out of the bathroom whilst I’m getting changed saying he’s forgotten something. Yeah right Bruno. I don’t really care about Bruno walking in on me; it’s just each time he walks in I think it’s someone else. “Would you stop walking in!?!!” I yell. “Ooooooohhhhhh Bruno got told!!!” I hear all the guys cheering from outside. Even I can’t help but laugh. “Stop moaningggg Lex, you’d rather it’d be me walking in then one of the guy’s right?” “Well that’s debateable” I say as I try to finish my hair, this humidity really isn’t helping anything. “Besides, I forgot, my, uh, hairbrush?” LIAR! “That’s my hairbrush” I say as I snatch it out of his hands “Yeah well, what’s yours is mine” I just laugh and push him out the door. About 5 minutes later he yells “Come on Lex! You’ve been taking ages! Don’t make me write another number one hit song about how long you take!” “Uhhh, in that song you’re saying about how you don’t care about how long I take!” “Yeah, well, theirs hidden meanings to the song. Now come one, before I get Dre to knock this door down” At that, we ALL start laughing. I’m finished anyway, I walk out, put my heels on and we leave to eat.

We go out to this diner, expensive, but nice. God I’m so fucking hungry. I look down at the menu and two things appeal to me. The lobster. And the steak. I look at Bruno. “Baby, I know exactly what you wanna eat” he says. “Oh really? I’d be surprised if you guessed right” “50 bucks says you get it wrong!” Eric says. “Deal m brother!” and they pound on it. “Lex. You wanna eat the Lobster……………..and the steak” FUCK! “Am I right or am I right?” “Daamn, yeah, you’re right. Eric, pay the sexy man” “Oh wait, Eric, another 50 bucks says I can guess what Dre wants to eat too, Dre. You want the same” “Eric, pay the man” “SHIT!!” To be honest I’m surprised that he actually guessed that right, I suppose he does know everything about me. Our food comes, and me and Bruno eat off of each other’s plates like we usually do and we leave for the casinos. LETS DO THIS! We’re in Vegas, what could go wrong!?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUCCKKKAJDSJDJSJD! I need to learn not to drink this much when I’m out with everyone. I’m actually having such a hard time keeping on control of my actions. It seems that every two seconds I just wanna take Bruno and fuck him. I don’t know who it is but they keep dragging me away from Bruno. Urgh, just fuck off and let me have my way with my sexy fiancé!! God, just watching him down those drinks, just watching him miss his mouth because of how pissed he is is just so mesmerising. Watching the drink slide down his neck is so irresistible, just looking at HIM is turning me on every fucking second. God damn he turns me on so much. I want him. No. I need him. NOW! As soon as I think that I feel Bruno on my lips, I can tell its Bruno, don’t ask me how or why, but I know its Bruno. I start to grind up against him; I don’t give a fuck if anyone is watching. Again, I feel someone pull us apart! What the fuck!? It’s definitely not Bruno… I hear someone yell over the music “GO IN THE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING IF YA FONNA FUCK ABOUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THAT!! JEEEEZ YA SLUTS….” That sounds like Midey! But I’m really too drunk to even know…….. So I take Bruno in to the bathroom and do what I can with him. Well, I do whatever we can try to do…. Erm. I think we had sex.

We go back out and Mid takes us outside to sober up. “Now I want you two to stay out here until you’re sober. Ya hear me? I’m only doing it in your best interest” she says sternly. I try my best to listen to her. I really do. But I just end up stumbling and falling on top of her. We all start laughing and Bruno yells “Hooly shiiiittt!! Kiss her Mid!!” What a guy! Mid pushes me off her and we sit on the floor. Bruno joins us. I lay my head on his shoulder and just stare in to nothingness. We really are out of it. Mid starts to talk at us but we really don’t pay much attention. Not too soon after that Phred comes out “You know they’re both pretty pissed. Bringing them out here won’t sober them up. Come on, let’s get them back inside” Mid helps me and Phred helps Bruno back inside. As soon as we get back inside we both go on the dance floor and start enjoying ourselves. And that’s all I remember. Until….

My phone starts to ring. Where am I? I look around and I’m in the hotel room in my bed with a splitting headache. I ignore my phone and snuggle up to Bruno. Wait. This isn’t Bruno. Like a ninja I turn my light on and see Mid fast asleep at the end of my bed. THANK FUCK! “Hey bitch, answer your fucking phone already” I ignore it for now. “Where’s Bruno? What happened?” She yawns “You passed out at the club so I bought you back here, they stayed on drinking. I dunno what happened with them, but he was with the guys, I’m sure he’s fine…” Why is my phone still ringing!? I look at the time and its 8am….I wonder if all the guys are back yet…. I get up and look and see if the guys are in their room through the connecting door. I see Phred, Ryan, Jam, Kenji, Dre and Eric in the room all fast asleep. I see no Bruno. Where the fuck is Bruno!?! I open the light and they all start moaning at me “Shut the light you ass hole!” Dre yells. “Oh shit, it’s you. Sorry Lex” he apologises. I really don’t care anymore. “Where. Is. Bruno.” I say. They all look around at each other. “He’s not back yet?” Kenji says. “No! Where did he go? It’s almost 9am!” “Well we left him with a few of our old friends, they seemed to be hitting it off, so we just left him and came back here, Lex I’m sure he’s fine” Phred says reassuringly. He probably is fine, but all these visions of Bruno with another Roxy girl start running through my mind. I know he said he’d never do it again, but he was pretty damn drunk. And I can’t help but always have that small worry in the back of my mind though right? SHIT. I need air. I go over to the balcony and light up a cigarette. “Phred. Gimmie your phone” I dial Bruno’s number and I get a message telling me that his phone is off. FUCK. Now everyone is up and awake. Eric comes over to me and hugs me; I don’t need this right now. He whispers in my ear “Bruno does stupid things sometimes. But you know he loves you, and that’s all that matters” Shit. Even Eric is having the same thought track as me.

“Yeah she’s here, hold on….” Mid comes in holding my phone and says “Lex, it’s the police department, they say they wanna speak to you” My heart starts to beat. What could the police want!? Anxiously I answer “Hello?” “Is this a Miss Lexii Roberts?” “Yes, how can I help?” I look up and see all the guys staring at me intently waiting. “Miss Roberts we have your fiancé detained , we think it’s better you come down to the station to sort this out….Miss Roberts, Mr Hernandez would like to speak to you, would you like to accept his call?” “Yeah, put him on please” “Lex?” He sounds pained. WHAT THE HELL!? “Baby. What’s wrong!? What’ve you done!?” “Baby, I don’t even know, I just can’t believe it happened, I didn’t mean to, I. Just, just, come down to the station ok? I love you” He sounds pained. Oh my God. “I love you too Bruno” “Miss Roberts, you’re going to need to bring bail money too, I’ll see you soon” And I put the phone down. I rush outta there and get to the police station. What could he have done!?

I walk to the station which actually is in walking distance and speak with the officer. “He did what!? No, no, that can’t be. He can’t have done that! Why would he? And In Vegas of all places! I refuse to believe it” “Ma’am, I understand this comes as a shock to you, but believe it or not. It’s true. Would you like to see him?” I feel light headed. I can’t believe this. Would he have been better off cheating? Of course not. Urgh, I don’t even know anymore. “Yeah, can I see him please?” He nods and takes me in to the cell blocks. I instantly spot Bruno and he spots me and he presses up against the bars. He looks so distraught, I feel like I could break down here. But I don’t. I’m angry. And I’m not gonna fucking give in. “Lex, I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what happened, honestly, I just, I don’t know. I don’t know why I did it” I stay silent and just stare at him. He looks like he’s been crying. Good. Oh who am I kidding!? Just seeing him like this is breaking my heart. I lean in and peck him on the lips. As I pull away Bruno leans in closer but is stopped by the cell bars. “Can we get him out of the cell please? How much is the fine?” I pay the fine whilst the officer talks at me. I’m really not listening; I hope Bruno is because I heard absolutely nothing of what he said. I can’t fucking believe this. We walk back in silence. He tries to put his arm around me a few times but each time I just shrug him off. He tries again “Bruno. Don’t touch me” I look over at him and see he looks hurt by what I said and how I said it. Fuck. “Or not at least until you’ve had a shower or something” I say to try and defuse the tension. We get to the hotel and “Is Eric awake? Does he know?” He asks scared. I nod. “They all know, and they’re all probably waiting for you upstairs. So go.” Urgh, I hate speaking like this to Bruno, but I just can’t get over it. “Lex, baby…” I just open the front door and walk upstairs, he stays outside smoking.

I open the room door and sit on the bed and I light up. Everyone else is here too, I tell them what happened and we just wait for him to come in. Finally he does looking ashamed. “BRUNO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? LIKE ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL!? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING STUPID OR SOMETHING? WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH THAT TINY MIND OF YOURS?” Ryan and Phil restrain Eric as he rushes up to Bruno. “I’M SORRY OK!?” “Yeah, you better fucking be, because when I’m done with you…” again Ryan and Phil restrain him. Bruno looks like he’s about to pass out from exhaustion. Poor thing. Wait, what am I saying? Urgh, no matter how hard I try, I still love him, so fucking much, and even though what he did was wrong and stupid, at the end of the day. I still love him. “Bruno I tell you, if Lex doesn’t break the fuck up with you now, then you’re fucking lucky to have her. Remember that” and Eric leaves the room. Bruno doesn’t look at me; he just turns away and rests his head on the wall. “If you don’t mind, I’d like for you all to leave now” Bruno says defeated, and everyone leaves so it’s just us two in the bedroom. I don’t say anything as I get changed ready for bed. Bruno goes over to the balcony for another smoke. Once I’m ready, I get in bed and just wait. I don’t know what I want to hear from him, but I just wait. Eventually he comes in, has a long shower, gets changed himself and get’s in to bed. He doesn’t say anything or even look at me. Just as I decide to go to sleep and ignore him, he whispers “I’m sorry” “What exactly are you sorry for?” I say in a cold tone. “Everything, I don’t know what got in to me, I honestly don’t know why I did it, I’m sorry. I love you” “Bruno. We all like to experiment. But we don’t do it and get caught or let it get out of hand” “I know baby, ahhhh I’m such a fucking idiot! Areyougonnadumpme?” He mumbled the last part. “What?” he exhales “areyougonnadumpmelikeEricsaid” I think I understood what he said… “Bruno stop fucking mumbling” “Urgh, are you gonna do what Eric said?” “Are you genuinely stupid or something!? Like seriously Bruno. Jeeeez. How could you even th-“ He cuts me off “Ok, ok, ok, I’m sorry….” a silence occurs before he finally says “Well, did you think about breaking up with me? Like did the thought pass through your mind for a split second?”He looks scared whilst asking it. But I’m still angry with him so I don’t comfort him. I think about it before I answer. “No, it didn’t cross my mind” He takes my hand and kisses my finger with my engagement ring on it. And again, he says “I’m sorry” and again he kisses my ring. I peck him on the lips and my heart sinks a little just thinking about everything that happened. Without saying another word I try to get some sleep. Usually I sleep in Bruno’s arms or if not like that then some part of me will be touching him, just for the closeness and just to feel like he’s there. But not tonight, tonight I feel like I don’t want to sleep like that. Oh shit, what’s happening to us.

I wake up not feeling well, it’s not the hangover, and I just don’t feel right. Anyway, waking up was. Erm. Awkward? Oh God. I wake up before him, take a long lonely shower, get changed, and go in to the living room. Our hotel room really is amazing, and huge. I find Mid asleep on the couch. Next to Phred? Ok then… I wake them both up. I need to talk. I don’t give a fuck; I shake the living daylights out of them until they wake up. “The fuck you doing on the couch with me!?” Mid yells. “Ouch! Don’t yell in my ear like that, and I don’t know, you’re the slut, not me…” Phred says as he sits on the floor. God I do love them both. “Lex, you don’t look right, are you feeling ok? Here, come sit lie on the couch” Mid says concerned as she feels my temperature. “Lex, you’re burning up, lemme get you something for it” “No, wait, can we just talk first?” I beg. And they both sit down and listen. After a silence, I finally say. “I couldn’t sleep last night, not properly. I felt lonely too, usually he’s always wrapped around me or I’m wrapped around him, but not last night” “Lex, so this is your first fight, so what? You’ll get over this feeling, besides, he’s in the wrong anyway, it’s not fair you put yourself through this” “Yeah, just think about how many times you fought with Jake, and you still stayed with that assshole after everything” “Lex, tell us what you’re thinking, let us know what you’re going through, it’s not good to keep everything in all the time” Am I really tearing up? What the hell is wrong with me? I take a deep breath and blurt out “I don’t know, I wish I knew what exact fucking emotion I have but I don’t. Obviously I’m upset that he’d do something as stupid as that, but obviously I’m fucking angry too. And on top of that I’m just shocked that he would even do that! I mean I thought I knew him, you know? At this stage in our relationship surprises like this shouldn’t happen. I mean, I can’t handle all of this! I work so hard, I mean so so hard and that is the most stressful part of my life, I can’t handle having all of this too. There’s only so much I can take. I’m only fucking human” My eyes are so blurry from my tears right now it’s unreal. “You still love him right?” Phred asks concerned. “Of course! Of course I still love him. I won’t ever stop. It’s like, I’m with this guy, this amazing guy that I love so damn much that at times it hurts, I’ve never loved anyone so much before in my life before, I didn’t even know love like this existed and he loves me too, but to think about what he’s done, and the implications it can have and how he didn’t think at that very moment in time is heartbreaking. I just wanna go in to the bedroom now and just, I dunno, hug him? Because I know he’s scared too, I just wanna hug him and tell him everything is gonna be alright, but I can’t guarantee that and I’m not strong enough to do that, I can’t be what he needs right now. I don’t even think I’m mentally stable anymore with everything that’s happened in my life” They both don’t say anything; they just get up and hug me. That’s all I need right now. Just a hug. I feel faint as fuck, I lie down on the couch and Mid brings me some Tylenol. It doesn’t help though. “I hope you’re not coming down with anything, you rarely get sick, but when you do. Man, does it hit you hard. Do you remember the last time you were sick?” Phred says reminiscing “Man, how could I forget! I do love you Phred, and you Mid” “We know bitch, we know, now try and get some sleep, maybe it’ll help” I drift off in to a very light sleep, but get woken up by Eric..

“I don’t care if he’s asleep! Lex looks like death, I’m waking him up” Do I really look that bad? “Eric, don’t, I don’t wanna speak to him right now anyway” I just know that if he comes out and sees me I’m just gonna melt and act like everything is ok. “You sure? *he feels my forehead* you’re burning up, but the rest of you feels cold, how do you feel?” “Urgh, I feel like death. And I’m cold, and I want Bruno to hold me…” Did I really say that last part out loud? Shit. “Awwhh, sweetheart, here, I suppose I’m the closest thing to Bruno right?” He sits with me on the couch and I cuddle up to him purely for the body heat, and because he’s so squidgy that it feels nice. Within seconds I fall asleep. I wake up again and see that Eric is still sitting with me but I have a blanket on me. Wow, my stomach doesn’t feel right, I feel, I feel like I’m gonna throw up but at the same time I feel dizzy. What’s happening to me? I get up and run to the bathroom and like I thought, I throw up, I don’t know if I feel better or worse now. I go back on the couch next to Eric and he puts the blanket on me again. “Can I wake Bruno up now?” I think for a second. “He’s gotta get up anyway, you guys have sound check soon, then your show. “FUCK! The show” I completely forgot!” Jamareo says, I didn’t even realise he was in the room, I look around and see that everyone is in here with me. I feel slightly uncomfortable so I start to squirm and sit up, but as I do my head starts to spin again and Eric just pulls me closer to him. I hear the shower go on and use this to my advantage. “I’m just gonna go and get changed in to my pyjamas and come back” “You need any help?” “No thanks Mid, I’ll be fine” “Ok, call if you need any help, I’m gonna call the doctor to come and see you too, because you’ve defiantly come down with something” “Nooooo, I’m sure I’ll get better later on or something” “Don’t care, I’m calling them anyway” “Urgh, fine….” I go in our room and change in to my pyjamas, I have to do it slowly though because I genuinely feel like I’m gonna pass out at any moment. Once I’m changed I collapse on the bed, I haven’t even got any energy to get up, I close my eyes and… “Lex? Baby what’s wrong!?” I didn’t even hear Bruno come out of the shower, I open my eyes and he’s right there. I look in to his beautiful eyes, but I can’t say anything. He instantly touches my forehead and says “Fuck, you’re burning up, have you called a doctor?” I nod. He sits next to me and goes in for a hug and like an instinct I hug him back. He’s wet and I pull back. He’s only in a towel. Fuck. I know I shouldn’t. I mean. I really REALLY know I shouldn’t, but I just stare at him, stare at his perfect body. In a towel. All wet and hot from the shower. “Wow, you must be coming down with something” He says as he gets up and starts to get changed. “Get under the covers baby, you’re freezing, do you feel cold?” I nod again. “What else is wrong? Have you been throwing up too?” I nod again. He opens the door and says “You guys coulda woken me up and told me she was sick” “She didn’t want us too” Ryan says. “Well, you should’ve done it anyway, you called a doctor?” “Yeah I did, he said he’ll be here soon” “I hope he gets here before we have to leave, what time do we have to go?” Bruno says as he grabs a bowl for cereal, from our room, with the door open, I can see everything that happens. “We’re performing in the hotel, so you don’t need to be there until 8 to go on for 10, but you’ve got to go talk to staging so they can set up everything for you all” Ryan says as he reads it off his phone. “And what time do we need to be at staging?” “Errrr, 5ish, and its 3 now” After Ryan says that an awkward silence occurs. Great, I turn the TV on to ignore everyone else. Once Bruno is done with his cereal he comes back in the room and sits with me. I wish he wouldn’t, but to be honest, right now. I just don’t care anymore. I place my head on his chest and fall asleep again.

“Lex….Lex baby, the doctors here, wake up” I feel Brunos cool, soft hands on my face trying to get me to wake up. I try to sit up but fall back “Ouuchhh, my head” “Is that dizziness?” The doctor asks. I nod, what other symptoms has she shown? “Dizziness, a high temperature but she said she feels cold, and she threw up earlier too” Mid explains. “Has she thrown up again?” “No, but I think that’s because she hasn’t eaten anything. And that’s not right either, because she loves to eat” “Lexii, do you have any aches and pains?” the doctor asks me directly. “Yeah, my back is killing me and my head” Bruno helps me to sit up and he starts rubbing my back, fuck that’s helping. Only slightly, but at least it’s helping. I rest my head on his shoulder. “Ok, it looks like to me like she has a serious viral infection, it’s not contagious, it’s just one of those things that happens, I’ll prescribe you something and you’ll be fine in no time” and with that, the doctor gives Mid the medication and leaves. “What time is it? Don’t you have to leave soon?” “It’s 6, but its ok, Phred knows all the arrangements, you’re more important to me anyway” and he kisses my forehead. I really don’t want to ask this, but “Baby, will you help me take a bath?”

“Of course, you sure you want one?” He asks casually. “Yeah, I think I just need one to relax, I had a shower this morning, but that didn’t help, I just wanna sit in the hot water” “Ok baby” and he kisses my forehead and goes to run my bath. Why does he keep kissing my forehead? I wish he’d just kiss me properly, I’m getting tired of this now, I’m sick, and I need my boyfriend. I mean, Fiancé….. I keep forgetting that part. He comes back in and says “Can you walk? Or do you need me to carry you?” “No I can walk” I get up and feel faint again, damn. “Fuuuckk” Instantly Bruno’s by my side and helps me up. “Urghh, thanks…” and we walk to the bathroom. “HOLY SHIT! How many bubbles do you think I need!?” I say through laughter. “Well I don’t know! You’re a girl, I thought you’d like it” “Well, yeah, but not THIS much, how much did you use?” “A whole bottle… WHAT!? Don’t look at me like that! Just get in ok?” I stare at him for while…. “Oh my God Lex. Are you serious? Do you want me to turn round or something?” He says whilst laughing, even I know that sounds stupid! “Because you know, I’ve seen you. I’ve seen quite a lot of you, in faaacttttt-“ “Ok ok ok, shut up, and never say that again…” “Deal” he says as he comes up to me and kisses my forehead. I look up at him and reach my lips up to his and he happily kisses me. Hmmmmm I missed kissing him. I wind my hands around his neck and only pull back for air “I love you” he whispers. I nod and say “I know” and push him away so I can get undressed. I start to pull at my top before I realise that I haven’t got any strength to do anything. Fuck my life, why do I have to be so sick? “Its ok baby, lemme help you” and he does. Nothing is awkward, why would it be? It’s only me and Bruno in here. I get in the bath, close my eyes and just relax, wow, I’m really covered by all these bubbles in here. I open my eyes after a while and see Bruno sitting on the floor staring at me. Why am I not surprised by this? “Uhhhh, you wanna join me?” “FUCK YES! I mean, uhh, if you really want me to?” I laugh and splash him with the water making him all wet “LEX!!” “Awwwh, now you have to join me” He puts on a mocking voice and says “Ok, but don’t watch me….” Fool. Obviously I watch him. In fact, I watch him very carefully. God damn, what have I don’t to deserve such a perfect guy? “Stop staring at me” he says and I snap out of it. I realise he’s only in his boxers now. “Strip baby strip!” He raises his hands and places them at the waistband of his boxers and looks at me, well, at least I think he’s looking at me, I’m not really looking at his face. “Nahhhh, I’m cool” and he gets in the bath with them still on!! “HELL NO BRUNO!” “what? Someone’s sex crazed ehh Lex…” “I. Am. Not.” I say all stubborn and annoyed. How could he do that? What a stupid sexy guy. Ok, maybe I am over reacting a little bit… “Well we’re not gonna have sex, you’re sick as shit for one” I just stare at him all annoyed. “Fineeee, you want them off? Here” and under the water he takes them off and throws them at me. “BRUNO!” It’s not the first time he’s thrown them at me. “I hate you…” I say. “Ok baby, sure you do” and he leans back and closes his eyes. The bath is quite big, I have plenty of room to move about… I take my foot and slowly graze it up his leg, passed his thigh and up to his-he jumps and opens his eyes “Don’t, or I’ll get out, you’re not feeling well, that’d be wrong” Ugh, “HAVE SEX WITH ME!” “Shhhhhh!! My brother is outside!!” Why am I so horny? Like seriously? I think it’s this fever that’s making me act all strange. “Fine, don’t have sex with me….” He comes up to me and kisses me again on the lips, I lift my knee up and “YOU’RE NOT EVEN HARD!! WE’RE IN A BATH TOGETH AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN HA-“ He places his hand on my mouth to shut me up “Do you have to be so loud!?! Eric probably heard EVERYTHING you just yelled!” he says through laughter. “Shiiiiiiiit, I thought Eric left” “No, he fell asleep on the couch so we’re gonna go down together later, although you probably woke him up” “Oh, sorry…” we stay sitting in the hot water for a while longer before I decide to get out. He helps me get out and get changed and tucks me in the bed. I really do feel like shit. “Baby, you need to eat something so you can take your medication” “I don’t wanna eat, I’ll probably just throw it up” “I don’t care…. Mid! Can you make Lexii something to eat so she can take her medication?” “I’m on it!” Mid yells from somewhere. I lay my head back on the pillow and Bruno lies next to me. He turns on his side to me and moves a piece of hair from my face. “You’re burning up, I’m worried” “I’ll get better Bruno, stop worrying for nothing” “Yeah but you just work so damn hard all the time, and now you’re sick, and, well, on top of everything that happened last night, I’m sure you didn’t need that stress added either” “Baby, don’t bring it up, ok?” “Just promise me you’ll take it easier? And I promise I’ll be a better fiancé” As soon as he says that I get a huge smile on my face, he notices and kisses my engagement ring. He looks at me and says “You still wanna have sex?” I nod and reply “Yeahhhh….” “Wow! Usually it’s me begging you!” “Well don’t get used to it” right at that moment Mid walks in with some toast. “Uhhh, I don’t wanna eat any” “You have to so you can take your medication” she says. Bruno hands me a slice and like a little child I sit there trying to stomach it. I take a bite and feel sick, so I put it back on the plate. “I can’t do it” As if I didn’t just say that, Bruno picks the slice up and forces me to eat it. “Am I really gonna have to force you to eat it?” he says. Just to shut them both up I eat that one slice and take my medication. “Baby, when do you have to go?” “Uhhh, half hourish, I really wish I didn’t have to go perform tonight” “It’s ok, you can’t go cancelling concerts for me, besides Mid is here to take ca-“ SHIT. Instantly I get up and run for the bathroom shutting the door behind me and start being sick in the toilet, within seconds Bruno rushes in next to me. “Go away” I say whilst throwing up, he bends down and holds my hair out of my face. In a way, it’s kinda sweet, yet fucking disgusting at the same time. I don’t know why, but once I’m done I start crying. He just hugs me from behind and whispers “It’s ok, I’m here, don’t worry” and he helps me wash my face and brush my teeth and takes me back in to the bed.

“Bruno, you have to go” “No, I can wait another half hour” “Baby, Eric’s already left and you’ve missed dress rehearsal, please. Go” He sits there hesitating, he clearly doesn’t want to go. I don’t want him to go either, but he has to. “Bruno! I understand that Lex is ill, and I really feel awful for her, but bro, you gotta come down NOW, I’m sick of getting yelled at” Phred says as he rushes in. He comes over and sits next to me. “Hey Lex, how you doing?” he asks as he feels my temperature. “I’m not doing well” I say as I rest my head on his shoulder. Oh I do love Phred, I mean apart from Mid, he’s one of my oldest friends. “Phred, we have your keys on track right?” Bruno asks. “What?” “Your parts on the keys, we have it on track? So we can just play it and you don’t need to perform tonight? Would you stay with Lex and Mid? I know she’d appreciate it” And I really would. “Sure I’ll stay with her. You sure you don’t need me tonight?” “We’ll cope, worst comes to worst we’ll stick Dre on keys….” and this we all start to laugh, but I stop because I get a head rush. Fuck. “Ok then, baby, I’m going, I’ll be back asap ok?” I nod “Have an amazing time, thrust a little harder for me will you?” He laughs “Anytime *Kiss* I love you *Kiss*” I watch and get slightly sad as he leaves, I’ll miss him. Spending the night in with Mid and Phred tonight. Just like the old times, before Bruno :)

Dedicated to Diane, Celine and Sana, because they’re horny fuckers…..

Bruno leaves and I miss him already. I really need a life away from him or something; I can’t become one of those clingy girlfriends. Maybe I should just call him, just to late him know I’m feeling slightly better, which I’m not, but I’m sure he wants to hear that I am, wow I’m rambling. I reach over to grab my phone and Mid grabs it before I have a chance. “No, you don’t need to call him” THE FUCK!? She knows me too well. “I wasn’t gonna call him! I just wanted to, uhh, check my messages….” “Bullshit!” “Yeah, you’re right, where’s Phred?” “He just went out to get something, he’ll be back-“ The door opens and Phred walks in holding something. “Phred you didn’t! I fucking love youuuuu” “Err, is she saying that to me or to the coffee?” He says confused. “I said it to both of you, now hand it over” and he gives me my vanilla latte. Yum. “Just like the old days ehh” I say as I take a sip. Oh Holy mother of Jesus this is heaven. Mmmmmmm. “Yeah, just like the old days when I was your bitch!” He says. “You’re still her bitch, just not as much” Mid replies. I yawn, why am I so tired? I haven’t done anything but sleep all day. “Lex, how you feeling? You know, about what we were speaking about this morning” Uhh, I wish they’d stop bringing it up. “I don’t know, I haven’t really been thinking about it, I don’t want to think about it right now if I’m honest. I’m sick and I just want him by my side. But I know he feels bad about it, which he should, but I feel like we’re not as close anymore, I mean, uhh, am I even making sense here?” “No, you’re not, but its ok, the fever is making you delirious” Phred says as he tucks me in to the bed. I really am tired. I think I could just fall asleep…

“What time did she fall asleep?” “About an hour after you left” “Has she thrown up again?” “She hasn’t eaten anything to throw up” I hear Bruno and Phred saying. Wait, Bruno’s back! I try my hardest to wake up but I just can’t seem to open my eyes. “Bro, you know all this stuff with you isn’t helping her” “You don’t think I fucking know this?” “All I’m saying is that the doctor said that her immune system became low due to high amounts of stress, and we all know how much stress she goes through on a daily basis, so, the stuff with you must’ve really messed her up” “Phred, stop, please, I know what I did was stupid and dumb ok? But it’s happened now, it’s been, what? Almost two days and not a second goes by that I don’t think about how idiotic it was. It’s like a dark cloud that follows me around” “Bruno we know that you know that what you did was wrong, and to be honest, I don’t really care about that right now, I just want Lex to get better” After a long silence, I hear Mid say “You know she worries about you right? I’m not even just talking about what happened two days ago. She worries about you in general, everyday” “What do you mean?” “She’s insecure Bruno, you know this. She worries about if at the end of every night you’re gonna come back to her, or if everyday you’re gonna love her the same, or even if you’re still gonna wanna marry her when it’s time” Why is she telling him all this stuff? I still keep my eyes closed and pretend to sleep. “But she knows I love her, why would she think all those things?” “You know what? I HATE bringing it up, but… London. Bruno that really messed her whole world up. She’s never trusted ANYONE like that before, she put her complete and utter trust in to you and you messed it up. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much it hurt her” Again after a long silence, I hear Bruno say as he comes close to me “But. I love her, I love her so so so much. More than I have ever loved anyone before in my life. I wanna marry her, have a family with her, and grow old with her. But I know I’ll never gain her trust back, that’s what kills me.” I decide to open my eyes and act all dumb. “You better be talking about me” I say to him. He flashes his perfect smile and says “Always” and kisses me. EW. He’s wet, why is he all wet!? Oh right, he just performed. “Sorry baby, I just realised how gross that is, lemme just shower and I’ll be back out” and he runs off to shower. I feel, uhm, I think I feel. Hungry? “Mid, I feel hungry” “Oh Lex finally!! What do you wanna eat? We can get you anything you want” “Erm, Mc Donalds?” Instantly Phred gets his phone out and starts dialling, I know who he’s calling and it makes me laugh. “Dre, we need you to go out and get us some Mc Donalds… Yeah, Lex got her appetite back, yeah just get us the usual, ok, bye” As soon as he puts the phone down I burst out laughing “Haahahahahahaa, Dre is like our little bitch now!!! Holy Shit, let’s send him to get us something random! Like extra small condoms or something!! Go on call him! Haahahahhaa” “Holy-hahaaha fuck-hahahah Lex-hahahaha stop.it!!! hahaha” Phred says through laugher, and Mid, well she’s just dying on the floor. Oh God I haven’t laughed like this in a while. Feels nice to laugh again.

About half an hour later Dre walks in with our food, I don’t know what took him so long but I’m so fucking happy he’s here with it. As soon as he walks in I start to devour the food, It takes me a while to notice that Bruno isn’t even out of the shower yet. I wonder if he’s ok. Just as I think that he walks out, he looks. I don’t know, but he doesn’t look happy. “Woooooahh look at all this food! Lex got her appetite back then” he says trying to hide his emotions, but I can tell something’s up. He sits next to me and I kiss him, but I stay kissing him for a while, he pulls back and I look in to his eyes letting him know that I know something’s up. He instantly looks away. Fuck. “Dude you gonna eat?” Phred says handing him a burger. “Nahh I’m good” and he sits back putting his arm around me, he asks “Baby, you feeling better? You look a lot better” I nod “Yeah I feel much better thanks, not 100% but better, eating helps” “Lex you remember the last time you were sick!?” Phred says. “Oh God, how could I forget!? Mid, you remember?” “Yupp, that was a loooongg night” I can’t eat anymore so I lie down and place my head on Bruno’s  lap, he instantly starts to play with my hair and covers me with a blanket. “Awwwhh I wanna hear, what happened?” Bruno asks. Phred begins. “WELL…. Lex was super sick, I mean so much worse than what she is now, and her mom was working and couldn’t get time off, so me and Mid decided to spend the night with her. But she was so sick, she couldn’t sleep or walk or do anything, it was horrible for us to see her like that. At about 2am she finally falls asleep and so do me and Mid. We were all in her room, Mid took the bed with her and I had a floor bed. So anyway, at about 4am I wake up because I can hear what sounds like..” he stops and looks at me and says. “You sure you want me to continue?” I nod and he continues. “So I wake up from what sounds like crying? I really had no idea, so I get up from my floor bed and go over to her” “Was she crying?” Bruno interrupts. “Yeah she was, she was all, My back is killing me, I feel sick, I have a headache, I just wanna sleep, it’s not fair, So.. I just hugged her, I mean what else could I do? But I think hugging her was the wrong thing, because she just burst out crying again saying, oh Phred I’m sorry you’re here when you could be at home sleeping, and she was basically talking bullshit, because how could  I be at home knowing she was here all sick!? And Mid was no help, she just feel asleep and didn’t wake up” “Hey! I had a long day! And besides, Lex knew I was there for her in spirit…” I laugh at that “Oh God Mid, you do chat shit, but yeah I knew you cared” “Exactly” “So what did you do after she stopped crying?” Bruno asks. “Well, I just sat with her, we watched some TV, we talked, I read to her” “you read to her!?” “Well, yeah, I mean she asked me too, and she was reading this book at the time and I only did it because I knew it’d make her happy. But she fell asleep at about 6:30am-ish.” “Phred! Tell him what happened at 6am!” “Oh shit yeah! Well she was wearing this huge sweater over her pyjamas, and she asked me to help her take it off, so I did. And I say. Wow, I’ve never touched a girl like this a 6 in the morning. And Lex replies. Really? I know a lot of hoes, I’ll find you a chick to touch till 6 in the morning. And I guess those lyrics just stuck with her. But man, that was a crazy night” Bruno looks down at me and says “Lex, you’ve got some amazing friends, you know that right?” I look back and say “The best”

Right now I’m fighting the  urge to fall asleep. “Did you have a boyfriend at the time?” Bruno asks me. “Yeah, I had Harry, remember I told you about him? The creepy guy?” “Yeah I remember, so where was he?” “he was away, on some course or whatever, well, at least that’s where he said he was…” After an awkward silence “Hey Lex, you and Bruno know everything about each other right?” Mid says from the floor. “Yeah, why?” I ask. “Just wondering, so you told him about you and Travie getting it on right?” “WHAT!?” Bruno yells in shock. Fuck…­­

Uhm, if you don’t know what “sexual fluids” are, then you my friend shouldn’t be reading this….. enjoy! :)

“Noooooo, I’m so sleepy, can we not do this now?” I plead with him. “Oh no Lex, we’re doing this. You know what; I don’t even think I wanna know what happened….. Do I wanna know?” He asks scared and slightly angry. “Mid why the fuck did you have to bring this up!?” “Well I thought he already knew! Don’t blame me Lex, you two are gonna get married. You shouldn’t keep secrets with each other”  Bullshit! Theirs something’s that he just doesn’t need to know. I might as well tell him then. “We didn’t have sex” “But ya’ll nearly did” Mid interrupts, I give her an evil stare and Phred says “Come on Mid, If you don’t leave now then Lex’ll kill you….” and they both leave the room. I look to Bruno. “Baby, we didn’t have sex, ok? Come on, cheer up” “Then what did you both do?” “We were just making out, it probably would’ve lead to something if we weren’t interrupted, but we were, no big deal, I was single and so was he. It was a late night…. in the studio” I say the last part slowly. This story seems familiar. Bruno looks at me; he’s thinking the same thing I was thinking. He says “Were you both drunk” I nod. “It’s not the same thing Bruno, so don’t even go there, I was single. You weren’t” and as I say this he shuts up. “Did he, uhhh, you know” he asks awkwardly. “What?” “You know, touch you or anything” Fuck. “Can we not talk about this now?” I say as I attempt to get up from the couch and go in to the bedroom. I still feel like shit so as soon as I try to get up my head spins and I fall back down on Bruno’s lap. “Explain” He says. “Yes. Ok!? He touched me. I touched him. We almost had sex, and yes I wanted to have sex with him. No he’s not the only one. The same thing happened with Adam Levine too, and I reeaallyy wanted to have sex with him that day, I mean I really wanted to just get him and have him, that man is soooo damn fine..” “Ok, you can stop now!” He interrupts. “Sorry” I say as I look at him. “Baby why does it bother you so much? I never really had sex with them” “I don’t know, I just don’t like the idea of you with other guys… and I know, don’t bring London up again. Please.” I slowly force myself up and sit on his lap, “Does it really matter though? At the end of the day you’re the one I want, you’re the one I choose to be with. And I’ve chosen to be with you for the rest of my life” I lift up my hand to show him my engagement ring, he takes my finger and kisses my ring. He looks at me and smiles. “Can I go to bed now please?” I beg. He nods and carries me to bed..

I wake up in the morning a hell of a lot better. I look to my left and Bruno’s sleeping. He’s so cute when he sleeps, I could just watch him for hours. He starts to move and slowly opens his eyes and looks at me raising his eyebrow slightly. Shit. “Baby why are you watching me sleep?” Damn… “Err I wasn’t watching you sleep, what are you on about” I say unconvincingly as I try to sit up. Before I have a chance to get up though Bruno rolls me over so he’s pinning me down on top. “I like this position” I say out loud. I don’t give a shit. I do like this position. He looks at me and says “No. You’re still sick. Although you do look better today” He kisses my forehead and says “And your fever has gone down too” I reach up and kiss his lips, I linger there for a while trying to build up the tempo of this kiss. He realised what I’m trying to do and pulls back, shakes his head and again says “No” Why won’t he touch me!? Urgh, he’s so annoying sometimes. He must sense my frustration because he says “I like it when you beg me for sex. You look a lot better today, maybe I’ll consider it if you persuade me” “Fuck youuuuu!!” I say through laughter, he’s right though, I don’t feel 100% I’d probably pass out halfway through. “Yeah!! You wish!” He replies. I just look at him.. “What?” He says as he kisses me. “Hmmmmmm I wanna go home, I miss our bed, I miss our house, I miss my mom and I miss my dog! I wonder if she misses me…” I whine. “We’ll be home soon baby, and when we get back you and me have some hard work to do” I laugh at this “Hard. Work?” I say with a wink. He just laughs and rolls us over again so I’m on top now. I use this to my advantage and wiggle my hips making him moan a little. He holds my hips in place and continues speaking. “Well, no exactly like that, I still need to finish my album” “Baby it’s your album, you finish it, I don’t wanna get too involved” “But I want you too, you’re so damn talented that it’d be stupid not to have you produce it!” “But you can produce too! You don’t need me, I know you can do it on your own” “Whatever Lex, you’re helping and that’s an order” he says the past part smiling “Excuse me? And that’s an order? Are you bossing me around Mr Hernandez?” This is turning me on, I don’t know why, but it is…. He smiles showing all of his perfect white teeth, swallows and says “I love you” “AWWWHH YOU RUINED IT!! Don’t be all sappy! Order me around again!!” He just laughs and pushes me off him. “You are freaky Lex” I feel lonely without him lying on me. As if he knew what I was thinking he rolls over on me. I open my mouth but before I have a chance to speak him places one finger across my lips to shut me up. “If you’re gonna say about how you like this position again, I swear I’ll get off you” Damn him.. I give him a frustrated look, I take my tongue and lick his finger. He doesn’t move. He just stays there staring at me with his finger still on my lips. “Seriously Lex? You think I’d get creeped out by that? It’s only spit, I’ve swallowed quite a lot of your spit and other sexual fluids bef-“ “OH MY GOD STOP!” He just laughs “Well it’s true. I have. And you’ve swallowed mine too-“ “BRUNO STOP!” This conversation is making me uncomfortable… I start to squirm to get free but he’s on top of me pinning me down. “Lexii” He says. “Bruno” I reply. “When we get married, whenever that may be, are you gonna take my last name?” “Hmmmmm Alexis Mars…. I kinda like the sound of that” He just gives me this bitch please look. “Alexis Hernandez, I like the sound of that more. Would you want me to take your name?” “Of course! Don’t you want to? I don’t wanna make you do something you don’t wanna do. I mean you will be stuck with that last name. FOREVER.” I smile like a fool at that last part of his sentence. “Then I’m happy being Mrs Hernandez forever” he smiles and gives me that intense kiss I’ve been waiting for. He pulls back and we’re both out of breath. “Err I’m going in for a shower. No you can’t join me” he says with a wink and he starts to undress on his way to the bathroom. He shuts the door. Idiot.

I go out in to the lounge and I see everyone staring at me. I kinda wish I wasn’t just wearing a pair of shorts and Bruno’s top right now. “Why are you all staring at me? And why have you all got your bags packed? What’s going on?” “Brandon called today, he says you never sent off the papers for Bruno’s album release” Mid says “HOLY SHIT! Well, I mean. Uhhh, he’s not even finished writing the album yet….” “Lex, you know how long it takes for those papers to release,  he needs them by the end of the week, and today is Friday, we need to leave so you can find them and get everyone to sign it” SHIT! How could I have forgotten!? If I don’t get the papers out on time then his whole album will be delayed and I can’t bear to let that happen to him. I don’t even know where they are. FUCK.

Bruno walks out of the bedroom dressed and says “Why is everything packed? What’s going on?” 

“Bruno we gotta leave, like, now” I say in a panic as I walk in to the bedroom to get changed. Bruno follows me in. “Why!? I like being in Vegas” “You know those papers that you have to sign before you release anything? Those long, long, chunky, double sided papers that you have to sign!? Well somehow, I forgot about them and we all need to get back so you all can sign them, otherwise your album will be delayed” I say as I try to fix my hair. I look at Bruno in the mirror and he sits down on the bed and starts to smile. WHAT THE FUCK!? “Uhhh, does this situation make you happy?” I ask confused. He looks up at me and says “Come here”  Why is he being so weird? I go over to him and sit on his lap. He looks at me and smiles “You really have no idea what I’m smiling right now do you!?” “No! I don’t, why are you so happy?” “Baby, it’s not the first time you’ve forgotten to get these papers signed is it?” “Well, no, I’ve forgotten a couple times before…..” He just looks at me “Does this situation not bring back memories for you!?” “What!? No! Can you just tell me what’s going through your brilliant mind!?” “When was the last time you forgot about these papers?” “Uhhh, I think it was for CeeLo’s album….” I stop and smile. I know what he means. He instantly kisses me and we both smile. “hmmm, now tell me the story” He says breathless. “Well, last time I forgot about sending these papers off, Jaq made me come in to the studio late to send them off. Like a perfect gentleman you came with me because you didn’t want me to be alone. It got late, we went for a walk, you gave me my beautiful tiffany key necklace *He reaches his hand down my top and pulls my necklace out, kisses it, then continues to listen to me* you then sang your song Talking To The Moon for me under the stars. And that’s when I realised just how much I loved you” I end my sentence and kiss him. “Then what happened?” He whispers.  I laugh and say “We made love in the studio, all night long, and everything felt perfect” I push him back on the bed and surprisingly he lets me. “Oh hell no. Get up, we got a plane to catch!” Ryan says as he walks in. I try to get up off Bruno but he rolls us over so he’s on top. “Go away Ryan” he says against my lips. “Bro, I’ll get Eric in here. He’ll pull you off her if he has to…” He finally stops and gets off me. Damit Ryan!

We all say goodbye to Vegas and board the plane. I just can’t wait to get back home.

As soon as we get back home to L.A, everyone goes their separate ways and we all agree to meet up tomorrow to sign everything, I’m so tired that I have no energy to look for it now. Me and Bruno go upstairs and as soon as my head hits my pillow I fall asleep. I that was probably the most relaxing sleep I’ve ever had. Nothing beats your own bed. And with Bruno right next to me it was just perfect. Although waking up and not having him next to me is something I hate. Why is he not next to me!? It’s not like him to be up before me, I turn and look at the time and see it’s 2pm. SHIT. No wonder he’s not in bed. I feel much better now, thank fuck I’m not sick anymore, I get up, have shower and decide to go downstairs to see if I can at least find the papers. I know I had them, but I don’t even know if they’re here or in the studio. I hear voices, I go downstairs and I see Midey and Jamareo joking about. Awwwhh they look so cute, Midey looks up and says in shock “Lex! When did you get up!?” “Errr, just now, why? What’s wrong? And why do I hear yelling?” I look around and outside I see Phred and he’s yelling at someone. Who is it!? I move closer to the door but Mid stops me, “What’s going on? Where’s Bruno and why is Phred yelling!?” I ask shocked. “Bruno went to the store for some cigarettes and Phred is outside, yelling at. Uhm. Jake” “WHAT!?” “Lex calm down ok! Phred is just telling him to leave, but it sounds like he won’t take no for an answer….” “Why is he here!? Unless…. Oh my God I’m gonna KILL Jaq! Why does he need to send Jake round!?” “I think he did it to make you hurry up, Lex as soon as he gets the papers and they’re signed then he’ll leave” At that precise moment Jake walks in. Fuck. Just looking at him makes me physically sick. I hate this guy. He looks at me and smiles, I wish I was wearing a thick jumper so he can’t see any part of me clearly, even though I’m in a pair of old jeans and a white top, I still hate the way he looks at me. He just looks right through me, like he’s staring at me naked or something…. fuck knows what I ever saw in him. Just thinking about how I ever had sex with him revolts me. He’s nothing compared to Bruno. Nothing……. “Hey Lexii! Long time no see huh, how you been?” He asks sweetly. “Fuck off” I say without thinking. “You heard her. Leave, she doesn’t need you around whilst she tries to find the stuff” Phred says. “Well I’m not leaving, I’ve had strict orders to stay until she finds it. Now go and look for it. Or you could stand here all day looking fuckable whilst I stare at you, it’s really up to you” I fucking hate this man. I walk away and try to find the papers.

Half an hour later and I still have no luck, and where is Bruno!? I’d feel better if he was here. “You dumb bitch, haven’t you found it yet?” He asks from the couch. “A little bit of respect in my house please you jerk” “Lex, I think the whole respect thing between us has sailed a long time ago don’t you think” “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” “FIND THE FUCKING PAPERS AND I WILL!” Why can’t I find them!? Everyone else is looking for them too and still nothing! I go in the kitchen to search in there. He follows me…. “Lex how’s that short guy you were seeing last time I saw you?” “His name is Bruno” “Yeah yeah whatever, you still with him? Or did he do the right thing and fuck you and run off?” “Do you ever shut up!?” “He fucked you and left! Didn’t he!? Remind me to buy him a drink later” “No he didn’t fuck me and leave! If you really must know, we’re engaged, and no, you’re not invited” “NO WAY! Do you love him? Is he rich or something? Is he a good fuck? Come on, let me in on the secret” “Shut up Jake. Just leave me alone and go away” “Why do you keep dodging my questions huh?” “Because my life is personal and you’re not a part of it anymore. If you really HAVE to know. Yes. I love him. I love him so much that I didn’t even think this type of love existed. And yes he’s rich, just like me, not that it matters because I started dating him when he had nothing. And oh yeah Jake. He is an AMAZING fuck, so much better than you. I’ll tell you why” “Urgh, don’t bother…” “He’s a good fuck because we don’t just FUCK. He cherishes me, takes his time with me, on our first time together we made love. On mine and your first time together we did it in some random person’s bed at a party because we were both drunk. He never pressured me either, YOU did. I hate you for that, I hate you full stop. I wish you’d just LEAVE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU ANNOY ME!” At that moment Bruno walks in to the house but I’m too angry with Jake to even notice. “OH and you don’t annoy me!? I’ve been here for almost an hour and still you’ve found nothing! What kind of a producer loses important papers!?!” “I don’t need this right now Jake. My life is stressful enough without having you in it. One of the best things that happened was when you disappeared!!” “Fuck you, as if your life is as stressful as you really make out. YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN LIFE BUT YOUR WORK! AND YOU CANT EVEN GET THAT RIGHT!” Just as I’m about to start yelling at this jerk, I feel Bruno’s arms around me and him whispering “shhhhh baby” In my ear which instantly calms me down. I just inhale his sweet scent and calm down. “DUDE, watch your mouth around her! Or I’ll smash your face in again like last time. I found the papers. Come back in an hour and you can collect them.” Silently Jake walks out…. After a while, with Bruno still wrapped around me he says “You know, If we killed him then he’d never bother us again…..” I force a laugh out because I’m in no mood for Bruno’s jokes. At least I hope he was joking… He turns me round so I’m facing him and he kisses me. I pull back and ask “Where were you all this time?”